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Song Parodies -> "Shopping With a Weapon in My Hand"
Original Song Title:
"Winter Wonderland"
Original Performer:
Traditional
Parody Song Title:
"Shopping With a Weapon in My Hand"
Parody Written by:
Rick Cormier
The Lyrics
Ah, Christmas! Joy to the world and all that. Every year, there are more stories in the news about shoppers fighting over items in stores, stampeding to be first to reach the one thing junior must have.Peace on earth, good will toward men
Christmas time
Shoppers tussle
And, since I'm
Short on muscle
Screw being polite
They're in for a fight
I'm shopping with a weapon in my hand
Raucous boys
And curmudgeons
Make no noise
Once they're bludgeoned
A club is divine
For shortening lines
Shopping with a weapon in my hand
In the parking lot, I spied a great space
Wimp in a new Beamer beat me there
How I laughed, to see the look on his face
The moment I set fire to his hair
Tazer guns
Can be useful
On someone
Who's more youthful
It's jolly good fun
Folks drool when they're stunned
Shopping with a weapon in my hand
At the toy store, there was just one X-Box
Some old lady snatched it from the shelf
I smacked her with a stocking stuffed with sharp rocks
And, as she dropped, I copped it for myself
Shopping's through
Stole a fly rod
Maimed a few
For an iPod
They got in my way, so I made "em pay
Shopping with a weapon in my hand
Shopping in a way they understand
Shopping with a weapon in my hand
Shoppers tussle
And, since I'm
Short on muscle
Screw being polite
They're in for a fight
I'm shopping with a weapon in my hand
Raucous boys
And curmudgeons
Make no noise
Once they're bludgeoned
A club is divine
For shortening lines
Shopping with a weapon in my hand
In the parking lot, I spied a great space
Wimp in a new Beamer beat me there
How I laughed, to see the look on his face
The moment I set fire to his hair
Tazer guns
Can be useful
On someone
Who's more youthful
It's jolly good fun
Folks drool when they're stunned
Shopping with a weapon in my hand
At the toy store, there was just one X-Box
Some old lady snatched it from the shelf
I smacked her with a stocking stuffed with sharp rocks
And, as she dropped, I copped it for myself
Shopping's through
Stole a fly rod
Maimed a few
For an iPod
They got in my way, so I made "em pay
Shopping with a weapon in my hand
Shopping in a way they understand
Shopping with a weapon in my hand
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Voting Results
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Voting Breakdown
The following represent how many people voted for each category.
| Pacing | How Funny | Overall Rating | |||||||||
| 1 | 1 | 1 | 1 | ||||||||
| 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 3 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 4 | 10 | 7 | 3 | ||||||||
| 5 | 81 | 84 | 88 |
User Comments
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Way to go, Rick...shop till they drop...very funny composition..up fives
now that's the way to shop! 555
most excellent..extra credit for rhyming 'curmudgeons" and "bludgeoned"
LOL!! Kind of adds to the 'Christmas Spirit'.
What Alvin said!
Ah, the holiday spirit of taking by force... excellent work!
555, showing the spirit alot of people usually do.
Nothing says Christmas like a "do no cross" police sign/line. Here's 5 of them.
This is the best parody of the OS I have ever seen.
My favorite of today's posts. I may have to sing this while shopping... can't wait to see their faces at the outlet mall! 555
I would have boxed her ears for the XBox, but I guess you wanted to rock her world... 5's
A good laugh
Let the bodies hit the floor!. Very good work Rick, the verse with the Tazer was great. 555.
Thanks AFW (your version of this OS is one of my favorite parodies), carol, ar, Pat, John, Rex, Stephen, Peter, PMS, Ravyn, Tim, Royce and Red Ant. Glad you enjoyed it.
yes, the curmudgeon/bludgeon was great Rick, and I'm glad to see someone else does their shopping armed with a stocking full of sharp rocks - LOL - 555
All around FABulous, Rick, but "...The moment I set fire to his hair" was my personal favorite line...=) LOL!
kinda funny
Thank you Stu, Arwen and Larry.
Excellent, made me laugh!
Thank you, Jeff.
Shopping's through
Stole a fly rod
Maimed a few
For an iPod
LOL x20!!!Sounds like a great day out...;-) 555
Stole a fly rod
Maimed a few
For an iPod
LOL x20!!!Sounds like a great day out...;-) 555
Thanks, Kristof. Aw, looks like somebody put some coal in my stocking. Well, Merry Christmas, Mr. Ones Guy!
Missed this yesterday. I was in the hospital with a concussion. Somebody cold-cocked me at the mall while I was...hey, wait a minute....why, I oughtta....Really awesome, Rick. Fives won't do this justice. This is Kristof-ian, or Spaff-a-liscious. One of your best, and with a boatload of awesome parodies already to your credit, that is saying something.
Thanks alot, Dee!
Where am I?
Yikes! This is awesome. I got TWO shopping-themed parodies I'm working on right now, and they just started looking a lot less exciting; thanks a lot. Seriously, great stuff.
Josh2, you're on Amiright. Are you alright? Claude, thanks and, i can't wait to read your shopping parodies. I'm sure they'll be fun.
SOTM - Already commented, and I'm sure I ment "do not cross". :-)
[SOTM] GREAT! I loved this one! I like 'Shopping in a way they understand. Shopping with a weapon in my hand.'! 555!
[SOTM] Hilarious. I wouldn't have done anything for said X-Box, cuz I've got 2. Really. One in the family room, one in the music room.
(SOTM) Eerie flashbacks of MY last shopping trip. Not bad!
[SOTM] This was even funnier the second time around. and I LOL then!
(SOTM) I loved the line about you setting fire to the guys hair.... True Story?
I read and rated this last month, but obviously failed to comment on it here. Forgive me, Rick. This is perfect. I couldn't love it more. And belated thanks to Dee for the compliment.
SOTM - Nothing says Christmas like having 'em pay' for your shopping spree. Funny and true.
(SOTM) see above, and great subs in this old xmas warhorse, Rick - loved the "shopping in a way they understand" line too ;-)
(SOTM) The irony is once you get your best parodies recorded and on a CD this scene will happen. Well, we can hope they sell that fast. I also liked the "curmudgeons/bludgeoned" rhyme.
(SOTM) LOVED IT!!!! 555!!
(SOTM) This is one of those parodies it's a pleasure to return to. Fab!!
(SOTM) Sometimes it's good to be late in commenting. The song made me laugh, and then the comments made me cry (still laughing). Very well done and painfully funny!
Shopping's tough
When you're plastered
When along
Comes some bastard
He gives you a whack
You're flat on your back
Shopping with a weapon in his hand...
...you gotta see the other guy's POV, too ;-)
When you're plastered
When along
Comes some bastard
He gives you a whack
You're flat on your back
Shopping with a weapon in his hand...
...you gotta see the other guy's POV, too ;-)
(SOTM) Our guns are nice and loaded, and so are the both of us too --- come on, I'd love to take an N-R-A ride together with you! 555
(SOTM) See above.
SOTM: Still great, still making me laugh!
(SOTM) hahahahahahahaha. surely a winner, 5s
A great pleasure to revisit.
(SOTM) LOL. Good one, and pacing seems dead-on.
Shopping's through
Stole a fly rod
Maimed a few
For an iPod
For some reason that really made me laugh. Good job!
Stole a fly rod
Maimed a few
For an iPod
For some reason that really made me laugh. Good job!
(SOTY 05) see above
(2005 SOTY) See above!
Excellent job, Rick, particularly at getting a lot of clever rhymes and humor into the short lines.
Wow. I'm not sure how to be more effusive than to call this a parody perfect, so there ya go. Please work this into your act come Christmas season. I'd be awfully tempted to fly out for the performance.
I just figured out how to be more effusive with my praise than to call this "a parody perfect"; I could call it "a perfect parody."
Third Place
http://www.inthe00s.com/index.php/topic,15845.0.html
http://www.inthe00s.com/index.php/topic,15845.0.html
I like it coz they clobber old people!! WAHEY!
One of the best on here. You really sell the idea too! :::preparing for the season at an arms dealer::: Don't worry, I'll never say where I got the idea! :p Early season's greetings!
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