Oh, his teeth are all gone
He can't afford plates
His mouth is pale pink
I'm tellin' ya' mates,
Santa Claus is Gummin it Down !

He's clenchin' his fist
Bangin' it twice
Gettin' damn sick
Of oatmeal and rice
Santa Claus is Gummin it Down !

He never done no flossing
He never brushed a tooth
Went through miseries and cavities
Back when he was still a youth..

So, ya better watch out,
Brush after meals
Or you could be facing
Santa's ordeals
Santa Claus is Gummin' it Down !

Had an awful lot of visits
From the tooth fairy, so sad
He should have saved the cash he got
Needed root canal real bad

Now, he's sippin' on cokes
Suckin' on plums
When you ain't got a "Toot"
It's gummy gum gums..
Santa Claus is Gummin' it Down !

Poor Santa Claus is Gummin' it Down !