Nose-zappin’ mercaptan will seriously stun
The sense that is known as olfact’. And from it you should run.
They put it here: in gas to clear us out from a resulting
Leak in a main. It won’t appeal to our nose, like bad herring.
Worse than farts, farts farts,
This smell will fill us with dread.
So if you sense mercaptan, fly,
Or else you could be dead.

Nose-zappin’ mercaptan, to high heaven it smells.
I think I’d rather whiff cow dung; it would make me less ill.
It’s no nosegay; in fact, it reeks! So that is why it’s found in
The otherwise odorless gas, to get our noses burnin’.
Mercaptan, merde crappin’ cannot be equated—
The former nose-formenter’s stench
Can’t be overrated.

Mercaptan’s put in gas, sure. But when you go to fill
The bowl—olfactory alarm; I don’t mean a turd spill.
If asparagus you wolfed down, before your tinkling’s done,
In every drip, odor will grip passages where air’s spun.
As in it pours, you’ll catch the smell,
Perhaps feel light of head.
Awful stench can make you cry…
Worse: you wet the bed.