DICK: The first thing we do, let’s kill all the Congress!

CADE: Yes, a good thing to do. For are they not just
detestable grifters—stealing chicks and gents?
’twas P.J. O’Rourke called them a parliament
of whores. Too kind, he; a better word, “scum,”
who burden us with heavy taxes
and yet themselves pay the levy never,
or certainly pay rarely their fair share.

SMITH: And benefit from insider trading; fatten accounts.

CADE: So, mobsters.

SMITH: Yes, the fat cats’ ploys are copious.

CADE: Sphincter-kissers!

SMITH: Depredations keep us indebted, in red.

CADE: Then again, they are CONgressmen.

DICK: Yes, and every one of them, a greasy hand.

CADE: A hoggish lot they are; each one a robber
and a swine. Honor? Of that, never guilty!
They all should die. All of them fill us with disgust.
To see ’tis plain: they are to blame.

DIRK: Emanuel?

DICK: No, not Rahm, the boss of Chicago!
Though the man is a crook, too.

CADE: Not one alone is the cause of the blight. . .
this whorish coterie of women and men—
Honest, plain-dealing them?!!!!!!!

DIRK: Surly rank dogs that have been sent from hell.
With Satan these cretins have lain.

ALL: And had congress! Away with them, for
they’re disgraceful pillaging snakes.

CADE: Away with them, I say. Hang them till
these pests that infest our nest have necks stretched.