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Song Parodies -> "Voyage Of The Damned"
Original Song Title:
"Henry The 8th, I Am"
Original Performer:
Herman's Hermits
Parody Song Title:
"Voyage Of The Damned"
Parody Written by:
Paul Robinson
The Lyrics
It's always a good idea to check out the safety record of the Cruise Line before you sign up for on of those "Luxury Voyages"...You may notice that in the midst of his dire straits (verses 1 & 3) our passenger here is also plagued by grossly unsanitary conditions (verse 2). It's bad enough to be doomed without having to wallow and slide through a whole "shipload" of crap...
On voyage of the damned, I am
Voyage of the damned; not what I planned
Every time I hear the ocean's roar
I wish that I had just stayed on shore
This voyage will be the end of me (end of me)
It hasn't gone the way that I had planned (that I planned)
Yes, this voyage will be the end of me
On this voyage of the damned
This ship's cursed; now things get worse
The toilets on this ship are jammed
They're all full of sh*t, they're fully crammed
Sewage overflows across the floor
Gross conditions I cannot ignore
This ship is not very sanit'ry (sanit'ry)
There's excrement now floating in my bath (in my bath)
Being on this ship tests my sanity
Seems we're targets of God's wrath
(Guitar solo)
Everyone who is on board is damned
Soon we'll see the rocks where we'll be slammed
I'm now shaking to my very core
Think my chances to survive are poor
We'll perish soon it is plain to see (woe is me)
I feel just like a sacrificial lamb (roasted lamb)
Soon I'll meet my death in the foamy sea
Davey Jones, sir, here I am
D-A-V-E-Y
Death at sea (woe is me) End of me (plain to see)
On the rocks we'll soon be slammed, dead; man
On this voyage of the damned
Voyage of the damned; not what I planned
Every time I hear the ocean's roar
I wish that I had just stayed on shore
This voyage will be the end of me (end of me)
It hasn't gone the way that I had planned (that I planned)
Yes, this voyage will be the end of me
On this voyage of the damned
This ship's cursed; now things get worse
The toilets on this ship are jammed
They're all full of sh*t, they're fully crammed
Sewage overflows across the floor
Gross conditions I cannot ignore
This ship is not very sanit'ry (sanit'ry)
There's excrement now floating in my bath (in my bath)
Being on this ship tests my sanity
Seems we're targets of God's wrath
(Guitar solo)
Everyone who is on board is damned
Soon we'll see the rocks where we'll be slammed
I'm now shaking to my very core
Think my chances to survive are poor
We'll perish soon it is plain to see (woe is me)
I feel just like a sacrificial lamb (roasted lamb)
Soon I'll meet my death in the foamy sea
Davey Jones, sir, here I am
D-A-V-E-Y
Death at sea (woe is me) End of me (plain to see)
On the rocks we'll soon be slammed, dead; man
On this voyage of the damned
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Voting Breakdown
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| Pacing | How Funny | Overall Rating | |||||||||
| 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 3 | 1 | 0 | 1 | ||||||||
| 4 | 0 | 1 | 0 | ||||||||
| 5 | 19 | 19 | 19 |
User Comments
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Tres excellent, Mr Robinson....sounds like a cruise I went on last year! 555
I really need to get the midi for this song...lots of parodies for it recently. It read well, I'll have to stop back later when I have the tune.
I haven't been on a cruise yet...this makes me want to stay home. :) Good one, Paul! 5's
Thanks Kristof, Jeff R. & Adagio. And thanks to JD for "nudging" me to think up and submit a "V" letter parody to enter into the (ABC "V") contest round...
I notice you like this OS, Paul, and I can see why - it rattles along so easily in your head as you read it - great choice - and great rhymes - 555
Thanks, Stuart. Actually, I had never used it before I wrote that other piece last week. But it is an OS that is handy to work with, and since I was responding to a bit of a call from Johnny to put up a parody in the ("ABC" round "V") I was looking for an OS that wasn't going to be too punishing to work with pace-wise. Also, after using it for the first time the other day I realized I liked the OS phrasing and what you could do with it in creating a singable, nicely scannable parody. Lately I've been consciously trying to use artists or groups that maybe have been done much on this site or done much by me. It's been fun to stretch out a little in that regard.
Sounds like a cruise ship without a crew...very funny and excellently crafted. 5's
555 mg of Dramamine!
First Seagull to Second Seagull:
"See that cruise ship down there?"
Second Seagull to First Seagull:
"Yeah, what about it?"
First Seagull to Second Seagull:
"That, my friend, is a 'Ship Of Fools'."
Second Seagull to First Seagull:
"What makes them a 'Ship Of Fools'?"
First Seagull to Second Seagull:
"They're all looking up."
First Seagull to Second Seagull:
"See that cruise ship down there?"
Second Seagull to First Seagull:
"Yeah, what about it?"
First Seagull to Second Seagull:
"That, my friend, is a 'Ship Of Fools'."
Second Seagull to First Seagull:
"What makes them a 'Ship Of Fools'?"
First Seagull to Second Seagull:
"They're all looking up."
You are sailing
All is failing
Told through mailing
We are vailing
I hope I used that last word right now...
All is failing
Told through mailing
We are vailing
I hope I used that last word right now...
Thanks, a lot, Paul! I'm just putting the finishing touches on my cruise plans. Funny 5s.
AFW/JD/K-1/JB - thanks, all! K-1, were you looking for "bailing", as in filling up buckets of water than have come aboard the ship and then throwing that water back into the Ocean? JB - Well, this ship won't let you down...guaranteed or your money back AND a discount coupon for it's NEXT voyage!
Damm!!! this was good. 5's
Thanks, Lionel!
all i can afford is the jungle cruise at disneyland...nice job here..5s
Thanks, alvin!
That was a hoot! Don't forget to fire your travel agent!
Thanks, Mari!
(ABC) Already voted. Good one, Paul.
Adagio, thanks again!
Excellent pacing.
2Eagle - Thank you!
Glad I caught JD's comment on the comments page - this is hilarious :-)
Thanks, Phil.
But the worst is yet to come - you've been shipwrecked on Greenland! (But I hear they have more computers per person than anywhere else on earth, so maybe that's a GOOD thing! ) :-)
But Mer, I only NEED one computer (at least I think). Of course, I only NEED one TV set (if that), but I have TWO...One now serves as a gerri-rigged microphone stand in my living room...
The same thing happened to me once. See if I ever ride "It's a Small World" again.
Spaff, it's been a long time, but I recall being tortured at the New York World's Fair in 1964 by having to go on the insipid "Small World" ride...thanks...
I could have SWORN I had already commented on this! But as not, great work Paul!
(ABC) already commented, but I just want to say, it read just as well, if not better, the second reading
(ABC) See above...but...DON'T LOOK UP(splat)AAAAGGGHH!!!
(ABC) Fives overboard! Good luck, man
Per/Stuart/JD/Jared - Thanks for sailing by! Per - it's probably just another of those "damned" things that have happened to this Cruise Ship...
(ABC) As above. Oh, I just blithered on about Greenland above, didn't I? Sorry! Good job! :-)
Mer - thought I thanked you back in November...guess not...better late than never? Perhaps...Thank you!
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