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Song Parodies -> "The Elf Says Never"

Original Song Title:

"The Twelfth of Never"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Johnny Mathis

Parody Song Title:

"The Elf Says Never"

Parody Written by:

Rick Cormier

The Lyrics

She writes of slaying monkeys
Wishes on stars
She likes "em strong and hunky
With fancy new cars
I don't fit those descriptions
But one thing is true
Until the elf says, "Never!"
It's her, I will pursue

Oh, her prose
Like a river flows
Softly goes
Stirring thought and libido

I know her heart was lost to Orlando (Bloom?)
Now Vin's the one that causes the elf to swoon
I don't care where she's been or, how many times
Oh, until the elf says, "Never!"
She has this heart of mine
Until the elf says, "Never!"
She has this heart of mine

I've seen her lithe stick figure
In MB chat room
She's wearing Lynda Carter's
Revealing costume
There's something with that outfit
That rings my chimes
Oh, until the elf says, "Never!"
She has this heart of mine
Until the elf says, "Never!"
She has this heart of mine

Your Vote & Comment Counts

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 LittleLots
Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 



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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.8
How Funny: 4.7
Overall Rating: 4.7

Total Votes: 19

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 1
 1
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   0
 1
 1
 
 5   18
 17
 17
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Kristof Robertson - June 10, 2005 - Report this comment
Oh no...yet ANOTHER supplicant at the Church of Arwen. She's gonna have to hire a PA to manage her love-life. ;-) This is cool, Rick...555
Johnny Mathis - June 10, 2005 - Report this comment
Rick...great parody of my song!! I loved it! But um...it was from the 50s so you should've used misc. Great job though! Oh, before I forget, my vote is 5,5,5.
AFW - June 10, 2005 - Report this comment
I remember this old Mathis song...one of my favorites..Excellent job...
alvin rhodes - June 10, 2005 - Report this comment
a stirring tribute...5s
Arwen - June 10, 2005 - Report this comment
Mister Cormier...

I. Am. Speechless. =) As a rule, I NEVER say never...so I'm pretty sure you're safe. I especially liked the little tribute to my MB avatar...because I worked hard on that!! =)

Thanks so much for writing this. You are officially on my hot list...hehehe.
Rick C - June 10, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanks, Kristof. Check the comments on your Bi Guy parody. :-) That was the title I WAS going to write and submit today. Johnny (AFW?), sorry about the decade mixup. I found another parody of this OS on Amiright and, it said 60s so, I went with it. I should have been more thorough. Thanks, AFW. Thank you, Alvin. I also found an old parody of yours that I commented on last night but, can't recall which at the moment. I just remember it being brilliant! Arwen, thanks and you're welcome :-) Looks like K1 did one on you today too!
Kristof robertson - June 10, 2005 - Report this comment
Thanks for visiting my Bi Guy, Rick. Sorry I beat you to the punch...I was actually very surprised no one had done it before me!
Johnny Mathis - June 10, 2005 - Report this comment
Yeah, I recorded it in 1957. :) Too bad there isn't a 50s section.
Michael Pacholek - June 12, 2005 - Report this comment
Rick: Welcome to the Society of Pathetic Admirers of Middle Earth Elf Ladies (SPAMEEL). Dues are US$25.00 a year, and can be sent to pacholeknbnj@yahoo.com. (I'm gonna get smacked for that, but I don't care.) "Johnny": I think the fact that there's no official Fifties section is a conspiracy to keep people from acknowledging my mastery of that period of music, if I may be so immodest.
Peter Andersson a.k.a K1chyd - June 13, 2005 - Report this comment
Rick C: Thanks for the plug (and the comment). DKTOS but I see some people here I trust on pacing so I'll add a full 555.

Arwen: If you are to take Kristof up on that suggestion remember that my initials are PA! ;-)
Rick C - June 13, 2005 - Report this comment
MP, the check is in the e-mail. K1 thanks!
Arwen - June 13, 2005 - Report this comment
2 things for Mister Pacholek:

1. Is that your real email address? Because I have honestly been trying to weasel that out of you for AGES...

2. Society of Pathetic Admirers of Middle Earth Elf Ladies. LADIES? Plural? Who in the hell else is there, Mister? Because I worked long and hard to get you to overlook your general disdain for all things LOTR and just proclaim your love for me...if there's competition, I need to know about it.

And an LOL to K1!! Nice...
Ashkicksass - June 15, 2005 - Report this comment
A fabulous tribute to a fabulous gal! WOOOOO!
leo J - June 22, 2005 - Report this comment
Missed this before. Excellent job on a great OS.
Agrimorfee - February 16, 2006 - Report this comment
(luv contest 06) Nice work, Rick!
bobpiecheese - February 16, 2006 - Report this comment
(LUVCOMP) Nothing like a good old movie-based parody to light up your post-school afternoon (i AM 15). Not that fond of the LOTR series, but anyway, nice job, Rick Cormier.
Agrimorfee - February 21, 2006 - Report this comment
bobpiecheese...you are relatively new here, so you might not know that this song is in (respectfully semi-fictional) reference to one our competitors. Guess who? ;)
Johnny D - February 21, 2006 - Report this comment
Saw this in Latest Comments --- great job, Rick!
Matthias - February 24, 2006 - Report this comment
Wow! You know your Arwen!!! How much studying/ stalking went into this??? 5's
Stuart McArthur - February 27, 2006 - Report this comment
(LUV) another fantastic title sub, Rick, and parody to match - yes that Lynda Carter outfit IS pretty irresistible I must say! - 555
Johnny D - February 27, 2006 - Report this comment
(LUVCOMP) See above!
S.T.G. - February 28, 2006 - Report this comment
(luvcomp) Funny. I liked it
Arwen - February 28, 2006 - Report this comment
LOVE...I don't even have to come up with anything clever...you KNOW this is in my top 5...=) Still love it, Rick!
Luke Brattoni - March 01, 2006 - Report this comment
(LUVCOMP) A worthy muse is always a source of fine inspiration. Great work, Rick!
Larry Hensley - March 01, 2006 - Report this comment
(LUV) Cool parody.

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