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Song Parodies -> "So Wrong, Hairy Ann"

Original Song Title:

"So Long, Marianne"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Leonard Cohen

Parody Song Title:

"So Wrong, Hairy Ann"

Parody Written by:

John A. Barry

The Lyrics

It’s honed sharp, time to winnow hirsute darling. . .
as if your smile’s masked by fronds of palm.
In truth, I think you look like a frizzy boy,
nor can I see your high cheekbones.

Wow, so wrong, hairy Ann, more beard than fleecy Dan.
So hack like guys that facial nap and watch it fall from pan.

Hell, you’re so like guys on a facial view:
those restless roots are sprouting in a clutch.
Look like a player for the Angels
whose smoother of face more than four months, untouched.

Wow, so wrong, hairy Ann, more fleeced than bearded Dan.
So hack like guys that facial nap and watch it fall from pan.

The fledge started when you were young. . .
creeping shadow, evening dark.
And by age thirteen you already knew a Schick—
the kids “tee-heeing,” calling you “Mark.”

Whoa! So wrong, hairy Ann, more fleece than sheepish Dan.
So hack like guys that facial nap and watch it fall from pan.

Into forest from follicles, time to plow—
yes, the prospect makes you moan.
But brandish to that hedge the shiny double-edge. . .
like grass that’s overgrown, it must be mown.

Zounds! So wrong, hairy Ann, more fleece than unsheared ram.
So hack like guys that facial nap and watch it fall from pan.

No need to have a hidden mug—
be bold; get a new razor blade.
I know that shaving will make you furious
But you have only genes to blame.

Whoa! So wrong, hairy Ann, more beard than ZZ man.
So hack like guys that facial nap and watch it fall from pan.

Yes, you really are such a pretty one,
if you’ll just tame—nay, raze—monstrous mien mane.
Otherwise, you look like a mountain guy,
and folks joke that your song’s “Fleece Trained.”

Whoa! So wrong, hairy Ann, more beard than the Wolfman.
So hack like guys that facial nap and watch it fall from pan.

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 2

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
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 2   0
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 3   0
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 4   0
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 5   2
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User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Patrick - February 28, 2014 - Report this comment
This gal could start a dynasty! I first heard the original only a few months ago coming out of a muzak speaker in a store. Kind of liked the tune. This version conjures some interesting images.
Leough - February 28, 2014 - Report this comment
555 - Hair can be such a frustrating thing - showing up where it's not wanted and disappearing from where it is wanted.

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