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Song Parodies -> "I Am a Frog"

Original Song Title:

"I Am a Rock"

Original Performer:

Simon & Garfunkel

Parody Song Title:

"I Am a Frog"

Parody Written by:

John A. Barry

The Lyrics

I sprint away
From creeps that hark to dismember,
Slice off my bones,
Glaze legs they have winnowed; into heat then tote
Them to sauté, add some sauce for cuisine haute.

I am a frog,
I hop to islands.

The hilt falls;
With forces deep they knife me—
The cuts, they penetrate.
I have no need of Frenchship;
Frenchies have my name.
I laugh at them, those lunktêtes; I’ve no shame.

I am a frog,
I hop to islands.

Don’t talk of lunch;
It’s a word that I abhor. . .
Frenchmen eating on the legs of me.
I am disturbed when cut off,
The creepers by my side;
When they’re had at lunch,
The rest of me has died.

I am a frog,
I hop to islands.

I have my nooks,
And I hold my peeps to protect me,
But ain’t shielded. . .got no armor
Like a turtle’s “room,”
Thus I’m prone to doom.
I’m touchy when a honed one cuts up me.

I am a frog,
I’m snatched for slicin’.

Mad, a Frog squeals in pain—
He don’t like cuts—grêve, a strike.

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 16

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

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 5   16
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User Comments

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Mark Scotti - August 03, 2009 - Report this comment
A "slice' above the rest. Fives
Fiddlegirl - August 03, 2009 - Report this comment
Passes each tiny dissection. :)
Old Man Ribber - August 03, 2009 - Report this comment
Straight 5s from Old Man Ribbet...I nearly croaked! ;D
Jason - August 03, 2009 - Report this comment
Great froggin' job!
MsFroggyCake - August 03, 2009 - Report this comment
this could be worse than L-meat, ~CaptainJack de Barrow~ . . . ~ Le Duke oUnch ~ Oh, you're a very strange Dude, but I read it, CaptainJacques . . .
Guy - August 03, 2009 - Report this comment
This one is "knee deep" in swamp chicken. Or in the frog's circumstance it would be more at thiegh deep. Nice play here sir John. It's so sad that they have to "amphibutate" their legs.

Frog - This restaurant owner just up and chopped off my legs and fed them to some Frenchie. Can I sue and how much can I get?
Lawyer - I think it's a lost cause - you can't possibly win.
Frog - But why?
Lawyer - You don't have a leg to stand on.
Christie Marie M - August 03, 2009 - Report this comment
Ode to cuisse de grenouille! Very delectable parody, John! I echo all comments above! I'm just glad none of those frogs that are being served are princes in disguise! Kermit had better beware of those sous chefs! Loved the way you subbed "friendship" with "Frenchship" in your parody! 3 sets of 5's hopping your way!!
Andy Primus - August 03, 2009 - Report this comment
Finer than frog's hair
John Barry - August 03, 2009 - Report this comment
Thanks, Mark, Fiddlegirl, OMR, Jason, Guy, Christie, Andy.
2Eagle - August 03, 2009 - Report this comment
Frogs and snails - the French are weird.
TJC - August 03, 2009 - Report this comment
Cutting legxical humor with poss. sly Frog/frog bash on the Frenchies?
metaphorsbwithu - August 03, 2009 - Report this comment
Punny and nicely executed.
Turtle, Not Frog, Thank Goodness - August 03, 2009 - Report this comment
@Guy: Lawyer walks into a bar with a frog on his forehead. Bartender says, "What can I do for you?" Frog says, "Can you get this lawyer off my ass?"

"Frenchship" was toot sweet! Thanks for the nod -- the turtle is just glad he's not an escargot (in the cargot hold of a Frenchship).
Timmy1000 - August 03, 2009 - Report this comment
Disturbingly funny!
John Jenkins - August 03, 2009 - Report this comment
Amazing things continue to come out of your tête, Monsieur Barry.
alvin - August 03, 2009 - Report this comment
deliciously goofy
AFW - August 04, 2009 - Report this comment
Hoppin' good

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