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Song Parodies -> "Hours I Have Spent Watching Baseball"

Original Song Title:

"Flowers Never Bend With The Rainfall"

Original Performer:

Simon & Garfunkel

Parody Song Title:

"Hours I Have Spent Watching Baseball"

Parody Written by:

Paul Robinson

The Lyrics

Well, here we are in Baseball Season again. I live in the Los Angeles area and have been a Dodger follower since I first moved here in 1959...they won the World Series that year and this 9-year old went bananas. Thanks to alvin rhodes for the concept - I've been writing a lot of parodies to Simon & Garfunkel's early songs and was stumped on what to do with this OS, so he suggested this title and it worked out very nicely.
Our batting order’s weak
Some hitters we must seek
Three chances blown; I freak and abuse them
Team that’s down on the field
Bunch of schmucks; don’t appeal
“We’re five runs behind”, I squeal; “This is screwed, man”

Still, I continue to be True Blue
I’m a fan
My time; I seem to spend
For hours; without end
watching baseball

I can’t believe that call
was a “Strike”, but called a “Ball”
I’m livid; I’m appalled
I vent my anger
That blind ump wasn’t right
His “Strike Zone’s” way too tight
Juan Pierre said, “Man, that bites”
out comes our manager

So, Grady Little comes to argue
to no end
that guy just will not bend
and Tsao has walked four men
Sit here and squall

Our batter’s sure are poor
Each day they stink some more
We get runners on
But still cannot get them home
So I rant and scream
“These bums all stink”, says me
And so I shriek
“These guys all reek”
Good thing I am stoned

Go to the kitchen; I’m still bitchin’
Man, I’m mad
Those guys played really bad
I glowered, then I said, “Well, that’s baseball”

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 5

Voting Breakdown

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User Comments

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Adagio - May 10, 2007 - Report this comment
Well, at least I understand baseball, even if I prefer not to watch it. Good parody...I think I'd spend too much time venting if I was 'really' into it!! : )
Michael Pacholek - May 10, 2007 - Report this comment
1958: Los Angeles accepts a stolen team. 2007: They have Grady Little as their manager. It only took half a century to get their commeuppance. But the parody is a five.
John Barry - May 10, 2007 - Report this comment
A home run.
alvin - May 10, 2007 - Report this comment
my new anthem....love it
Paul Robinson - May 14, 2007 - Report this comment
Sorry for the late reply...I was under the weather the latter part of last week...Thanks, Pat...MP - Well, they've actually been getting that comeuppance now for the better part of 20 years (since 1988). Sure, we take stolen teams...hey, if nobody took those early Eastern franchises baseball would still be played between Massachusetts and Missouri now...that wouldn't be much of a "National Past-time" would it? And we're proud of all the teams we've "Borged" here in Los Angeles...Lakers in 1960 from Minneapolis/St. Paul, Rams from Cleveland earlier, who then skipped down to Anaheim and then back to St. Louis, Clippers were originally Buffalo, then San Diego...either of which can have them back now after this last season...Kings were brand new out here, I think, as were the Ducks...Angels, were an expansion team originally...What, you wouldn't have rooted for Koufax & Maury Wills in the late 50's and through the mid-sixties if you had been out here? Yeah, right....JB - Thanks! alvin, glad you liked it...hey, pretty sure you would...after all, it was your idea...

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