(instrumental intro)

Five a.m in morn
Drive on down to Norm's
Their food we often scorn
Because it's below norm
Bite into some vile pot roast
or chew on dry rye toast
Gripe, you'll get ignored

From the grill or from the stove
If you're served pie a la mode
You'll look down at your plate
What's down there don't look great
Your fried chicken don't taste right
You tremble with each bite
Fill up on some rolls
Damn!

(long instrumental break)

Sir, this slop don't taste like lamb
What you served me tastes like Spam
'Taters, they taste canned
Makes we wonder, man
Think the servings that you send
taste like a dog's rear end
Had some back in 'Nam

(long instrumental break)

Dining here at Norm's
Christ, this place is poor
The food is below norm
It's worthy of our scorn
Served me dog and now I moan
I guess I should have known
Guy, It makes me sore

(instrumental)

Five a.m. at Norm's
Fried fish tastes real poor
French fries like cardboard
Rice tastes like re-warmed
Guy, you have been warned

(instrumentals out to fade)