'Cause my tan line made me look like a geek
I bought a thong; a skimpy thong
When I brought it home my old lady freaked
She said, "That's wrong; don't wear that thong

It is way too damn skimpy; don't keep nothin' hid
If you wear to the beach, I'll have a fit"

"Dear, try to see this my way; Honey, what will our friends say?
It would be best to not wear that outside"

She implored me, "Think on it for a while"
Don't like my thong; she thinks it's wrong
All I wanted was to remove tan lines
Not show my dong; that stays in thong

But I'm married and wimpy, so I sit and pout
Pouting gets me nowhere; now my wife shouts

"Don't wear that thong around me; If you do you will feel grief"
"But dear", I said; she cut off my reply

[Lead guitar break]
[lyrics during break]
{I'm a hen-pecked geek; yeah, I'm mild and meek}
{My wife's a bitch; why'd I get hitched?}
{Guess it's plain to see that I take her lip}
{Yeah, that's a trip; I'm p*ssy-whipped}

Yeah, I am a hen-pecked geek...

I'm a hen-pecked wimp; guess that's plain to see
wife speaks for me; or so it seems
Guess I lack a spine; 'stead I've got jelly
In bed I plead; Jump when she screams

But this thong thing tears it; gonna tell that shrew
"I don't care what you say; here's what I'll do"

I declared strong and loudly, "Don't need you to allow me
Wearing my thong", I said to her with pride

She said, "Well dear, I'm impressed; Hope this won't make you depressed
When we're in bed no "ass"...for you tonight
{That really bites; No ass tonight...}