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Song Parodies -> "Free Tits"
Original Song Title:
"Beat It"
(MP3)Original Performer:
Michael Jackson
Parody Song Title:
"Free Tits"
Parody Written by:
Phil Alexander
The Lyrics
Look in my inbox, there's some e-mails here
They're offering free money, an' even free beer
There's lots of pix of chicks, from the front and from the rear
There's free tits - yeah, free tits
Mailwasher run, gonna do what I can
Don't wanna see no blood-y useless ****ing spam
Deleting ain't tough - gonna chuck 'em in the can
'cept free tits - guess they ain't so bad
Are free tits! free tits! free tits! free tits!
Who don't want a freebie, see tits?
Don't want viagra, don't want rewards
Don't want ten million quid from abroad
Just free tits, free tits
They're out in public, they've been sent by email
Unfortunately seen by kiddies (and females)
You wanna stay alive, better zap 'em without fail
No free tits, no free tits
You want to hide them but you're uncertain how
Your children are much better at computers now
Discreter to delete a picture of some funky frau
Delete it - but you don't wanna get rid
Of free tits! free tits! free tits!
But they gotta be deleted
Showin' off boobies is rather rude
Pictures discovered, would be a boob
Delete it - free tits! free tits! free tits!
How often must I repeat it?
Showin' off boobies - dodgy and lewd
It look like somebody's mum in the nude
Delete it! free tits! free tits! free tits!
That's the way it must be treated
Thin, skin and bone-y but there's a risk
Big, siliconey boobs on your disk
Delete it - free tits
Free tits, free tits! FREE TITS!
Delete it - free tits! free tits! free tits!
How often is this repeated?
(Jeez, but it's boring, ain't it, this song?
Chorus repeated, on, on and on)
There's free tits, free tits, free tits, free tits
B, C, double-D and E-tits
Little or chunky, tiny or huge
Inbox is full of a whole deluge
Of free tits! free tits! free tits! free tits!
Excess has just been exceeded
From Widow Twankey down to Boy George
There's even Boxters - topless by Porsche
There's free tits - free tits
Free tits, free tits! FREE TITS!
Free tits, free tits, free tits, free tits
Working class and bourgeoisie tits
Also a monkey (was it an ape?)
Jaw is a-dropping, watching agape
There's free tits, free tits, free tits, free tits
Celebrate the jubilee-tits
(Am I still going? Oh, yeah, you bet
I can't believe it's not over yet)
There's free tits, free tits, free tits, free tits
Florida and Tennessee tits
(Now sounding clunky, and impolite
Thank **** at last the end is in sight)
There's free tits, free tits, free tits, free tits
Ev'ry size - a potpourri - tits
There's free tits, free tits,
Free tits, free tits
They're offering free money, an' even free beer
There's lots of pix of chicks, from the front and from the rear
There's free tits - yeah, free tits
Mailwasher run, gonna do what I can
Don't wanna see no blood-y useless ****ing spam
Deleting ain't tough - gonna chuck 'em in the can
'cept free tits - guess they ain't so bad
Are free tits! free tits! free tits! free tits!
Who don't want a freebie, see tits?
Don't want viagra, don't want rewards
Don't want ten million quid from abroad
Just free tits, free tits
They're out in public, they've been sent by email
Unfortunately seen by kiddies (and females)
You wanna stay alive, better zap 'em without fail
No free tits, no free tits
You want to hide them but you're uncertain how
Your children are much better at computers now
Discreter to delete a picture of some funky frau
Delete it - but you don't wanna get rid
Of free tits! free tits! free tits!
But they gotta be deleted
Showin' off boobies is rather rude
Pictures discovered, would be a boob
Delete it - free tits! free tits! free tits!
How often must I repeat it?
Showin' off boobies - dodgy and lewd
It look like somebody's mum in the nude
Delete it! free tits! free tits! free tits!
That's the way it must be treated
Thin, skin and bone-y but there's a risk
Big, siliconey boobs on your disk
Delete it - free tits
Free tits, free tits! FREE TITS!
Delete it - free tits! free tits! free tits!
How often is this repeated?
(Jeez, but it's boring, ain't it, this song?
Chorus repeated, on, on and on)
There's free tits, free tits, free tits, free tits
B, C, double-D and E-tits
Little or chunky, tiny or huge
Inbox is full of a whole deluge
Of free tits! free tits! free tits! free tits!
Excess has just been exceeded
From Widow Twankey down to Boy George
There's even Boxters - topless by Porsche
There's free tits - free tits
Free tits, free tits! FREE TITS!
Free tits, free tits, free tits, free tits
Working class and bourgeoisie tits
Also a monkey (was it an ape?)
Jaw is a-dropping, watching agape
There's free tits, free tits, free tits, free tits
Celebrate the jubilee-tits
(Am I still going? Oh, yeah, you bet
I can't believe it's not over yet)
There's free tits, free tits, free tits, free tits
Florida and Tennessee tits
(Now sounding clunky, and impolite
Thank **** at last the end is in sight)
There's free tits, free tits, free tits, free tits
Ev'ry size - a potpourri - tits
There's free tits, free tits,
Free tits, free tits
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Voting Results
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Voting Breakdown
The following represent how many people voted for each category.
| Pacing | How Funny | Overall Rating | |||||||||
| 1 | 1 | 1 | 1 | ||||||||
| 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 3 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 4 | 1 | 1 | 1 | ||||||||
| 5 | 25 | 25 | 25 |
User Comments
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Hahaha, nice. 555
Pushing the line again eh Phil? BJ just wasn't enough. You know what's really funny, you took a Michael Jackson song (who is all about boys) and turned it into a mature female song, the exact opposite of what the artist is into and turning Beat It into something sexual was begging to be done, so bravo on that.
Titillating to the max! There's no padding in these D-couplets!
Double D size 555 ( man those tits would be HUGE)
bouncy...i like it
As opposed to fee tits.
Bloody hilarious, Mr Alexander! The more laboured the "free tits" rhymes became (Florida and Tennessee tits...hee!) the harder I laughed. Bravo! 555+
what B A D said
Thanks, everybody :-)
Dave - I didn't think this one was "pushing the line" that hard - there've been a lot of paro-titties, so to speak.. I did wonder about doing a parody to this song about autoeroticism without even changing the title.
TJC/Jack - it's not natural, though: definitely surgically enhanced when compared to the original
JB - are those what you have on the end of your leg-its?
Kristof - I couldn't believe how many repeated choruses there are at the end of this song - it goes on for frigging *hours*. Well, minutes, anyway.
Dave - I didn't think this one was "pushing the line" that hard - there've been a lot of paro-titties, so to speak.. I did wonder about doing a parody to this song about autoeroticism without even changing the title.
TJC/Jack - it's not natural, though: definitely surgically enhanced when compared to the original
JB - are those what you have on the end of your leg-its?
Kristof - I couldn't believe how many repeated choruses there are at the end of this song - it goes on for frigging *hours*. Well, minutes, anyway.
Yeah, this could be one heck of a parody without even changing the title I could see that.
This holds up firm and funny
(SOTM) You don't really need to put down every chorus, as most of the end choruses aren't even sung, though they appear on the album sleeve. Great title sub, great concept, hilarious execution! TMGLTM, This is Double-D quality humor right here! 555
You get what you pay for. Loved the risqueness and the efforts on the chorus changes...555
(SOTM) With prick, piss, and now tits, there are only 4 dirty words you can't say on TV. At least in the states. Stick it to the FCC-tits! 555.
I was so hoping for a security code of 36C or 42D.
I was so hoping for a security code of 36C or 42D.
SOTM - Let it all hang out!
McKludge: Loved your security code joke! :-)
McKludge: Loved your security code joke! :-)
Great and the code is CH4 which reminds me of 4chan.
(SOTM) another hilarious tits parody to add to "See Your Chest" and others, Phil - firstly, "Don't want ten million quid from abroad" was just sublime, and I loved the boney/siliconey rhyme, but my favourite aspect was the way you were working that rhyming dictionary to within an inch of its life to get "....Tennessee tits" "..........jubilee tits" and ".......potpourri tits" - I love those wink-to-the-reader gags - 555
(SOTM) I LIKE BOOBIES! Fine words for a 16-year-old...great work Phil!
I loved the line about making fun of the original song, that was clever and classy.
SOTM - Wow, an OS I hate turned into a song about something every straight guy loves!
O... MG... I think we found our winner folks. This may have even been better than Eat It... Also, hehehehe, you said Tit... hehehe... I am not immature! 5-5-5
(SOTM) Well, Phil, I think I said my piece on this, you are king of non-inuendo sexually non-explicit parodies, one of my favorites by you to date, and the OS was just begging to be turned sexual (I mean, even in '82 people referred to beatting it in a sexual connontation)
(SOTM) Blistering effort indeed. 555
(SOTM) See above. You already know I love, love, love this, Phil...so knowing, so faux-stupid, so gloriously silly. Just mam-nificent.
See above! Man twop MJ parodies two months in a row
SOTM - Great one. Very, very funny, and nice work dealing with Mr.(?) Jackson's endless string of choruses.
Oh, it may be worth noting - but probably isn't - that the security code for my last comment was 58F. The heck with 42D; we're talking Eccentricia Gallumbits here.
Again, some damned fine rhyming, Phil. Funny work, TMGLTM. Like Dave said, kudos for turning this song around 180*.
So where can we see the video for this one? Hilarious idea and execution :)
SOTY- Always love a good dirty parody. Very well done, Phil.
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