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Song Parodies -> "Can't Stand Vasectomies"

Original Song Title:

"Don't Stand So Close To Me"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

The Police

Parody Song Title:

"Can't Stand Vasectomies"

Parody Written by:

Mikey Squirrel

The Lyrics

No, this is not from personal experience. Eek.
A simple, procedure
That’s what they’re telling me
One snip in, my nut sack
Just how bad can it be?
Inside me, I’m cringing
I don’t think I’m ready
My doctor, I hope he’s good
And his hands are steady

Can’t stand, can’t stand it,
Can’t stand vasectomies
Can’t stand, can’t stand it,
Can’t stand vasectomies

My wife is, so stubborn
You know she’s, persistent
She says that it’s the right thing
But I’m still resistant
Translation: Castration
That’s what it’s like to me
We don’t want, more children
But there’s no guarantee

Can’t stand, can’t stand it,
Can’t stand vasectomies
Can’t stand, can’t stand it,
Can’t stand vasectomies

My friends say, I’m insane
That I’ll be less a man
The doc says there’s no pain
But I don’t give a damn
It's no use, can’t do it
I’m feeling too perplexed
Forget it, won’t happen
I’ll just have no more sex

Can’t stand, can’t stand it,
Can’t stand vasectomies
Can’t stand, can’t stand it,
Can’t stand vasectomies
(repeat)
Written by Mikey Squirrel © 2007 Squirrelbait Productions
Check out all my madness at Squirrelbait - Parodies In A Nutshell!
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.9
How Funny: 4.9
Overall Rating: 4.9
Total Votes: 16

Voting Breakdown

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User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Peregrin - August 25, 2007 - Report this comment
Good one Squirrel. I LOL at "Translation: Castration".

One technical thought though : "One snip in, my nut sack" is one snip short... ;-)
Meriadoc - August 25, 2007 - Report this comment
Cute ending!
bob - August 27, 2007 - Report this comment
I loved this, hysterical.
Agrimorfee - September 10, 2007 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Give Mikey a hand!! ;). A cut above...
Matthias - September 11, 2007 - Report this comment
Ah... Reminds me of that one Family Guy episode... Hell, everything can remind me of that one Family Guy episode, but seriously "Translation: Castration" was my favorite line too.
Peter Andersson - September 16, 2007 - Report this comment
SOTM - You fathered a good parody here... ;-)
Max Power - September 16, 2007 - Report this comment
Soprano 555
bobpiecheese - September 24, 2007 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Gotta hand it to ya, this is a cut above the rest! I also LOLed at the 'Translation: Castration' line.
Ethan Mawyer - September 28, 2007 - Report this comment
I thought this was ok. Definitely a lot moe fun than a vascectomy, but I wasn't particularly impressed.
stuart mcarthur - September 29, 2007 - Report this comment
(SOTM) brilliant title sub, and I laughed at "Translation: Castration" - the upside to the process is the enforced flushing of the tubes that needs achieving in the first week or so, however that may be done ;-) - 555
Jason - September 29, 2007 - Report this comment
(SOTM) The title alone was brilliant! And so was the rest of the parody.
Phil Alexander - September 29, 2007 - Report this comment
Could have sworn I commented on this one first time around - damn near the perfect title sub for this OS, very well executed.
Red Ant - September 29, 2007 - Report this comment
Maybe it's just me, but seeing as how a vasectomy is a one time operation, "Can't Stand Vasectomies" (plural) seemed odd. The verses are great (I, too, loved "Translation: Castration") but unlike your Air Supply parody I think this one needed some variations in the choruses to reach its climax. ;)
wannabemustangjockey - September 29, 2007 - Report this comment
SOTM - Maybe "Can't Stand Vasectomies" works if you have to witness them being performed on a daily basis, but most men I know could only have it done once. XD Still a decent effort.
Below Average Dave (badave.com) - September 29, 2007 - Report this comment
Agrees with Red Ant, even though "Vasectomies" being plural is kinda impossible, It was still friggin hilarious, and your word play was fantastic
Kristof Robertson - September 30, 2007 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Like Phil, I could've sworn on my Vas Deferens that I commented on this before...no mind. Nice title sub, and some great lines throughout. 555
Cat - September 30, 2007 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Eeek! Humans are not meant to be neutered like dogs! Nice one here, Mikey.

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