Song Parodies -> "I Still Haven't Found The Cheapest Whores"

Original Song Title:

"I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For"

Original Performer:

"I Still Haven't Found The Cheapest Whores"

Parody Written by:

The Lyrics

To be sung in a horny, yet politically idealistic voice.

I have cruised
Red light corners
I have dated most call girls
And my wallet's down a third
Actually, down a thou

I have called
I have cruised
I have bargained black and blue
Only to save a few
You know I got a wife and kids too!

But I still haven't found the cheapest whores

I have kissed
Chapped cl-ts
Flooded condoms to the tip
These strumpets I rent
Leave my trumpet quite bent

I have tongued
A wench named Angel
While I t-t f----d a slut named Deville
And after that night
I went home broke and stoned

'Coz I never held out for the discount whores

One fox said 50
I was glad
She said it's 90
Without her pad
I said I might do her on some quaalude bender

Seen classy harlots in magazines
I'm not too picky if she's got all her teeth
And if her waistline is trim
Alright!!
I like 'em real slim!

If I'm cheap, I'll wind up with the chubby whores

My dad said,
"Son, you've been told
All that jiggles sure ain't gold
Take care of your wifey
You know, she frets day and nightly."

Tell her I'm still at the office researching brothel laws

Once I believed
All men john
Rich and poor can have tart fun
Can butter tart buns
But still, I'm in debt

I cashed my bonds
Drew my life savings
Told Blue Cross
I'd stop paying
I can't stop laying
'Coz I'm a sucker for 'tute tit

Can you please help me find the cheapest whores?

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Michael Pacholek - January 25, 2007 - Report this comment

I know where you can get some fives real cheap: Right here.

alvin rhodes - January 25, 2007 - Report this comment

the plastic variety are fairly low cost....and can be used again and again...5s

John Barry - January 25, 2007 - Report this comment

Some nice turns of phrase in here--especially liked the "jiggles. . .gold" play.

Yoidy - January 25, 2007 - Report this comment

Spanks, guys!

AFW - January 25, 2007 - Report this comment

Graphic and laffic..555

Meriadoc - January 25, 2007 - Report this comment

Santa Monica Blvd. in West Hollywood might provide some surprises...

Below Average Dave - January 25, 2007 - Report this comment

You should meet my neighbors. . .that's all I have to say. . .555

Ravyn Rant - January 26, 2007 - Report this comment

I started "I Still Haven't Found a Ten-Dollar Whore" years ago and never finished it. Now I don't have to. Thanks!

MIKE - December 12, 2010 - Report this comment

I'M IN @ @ MUD WRESTLING RING NOPE CLOSE MIDGET WRESTLING NOPE DROP @LL THE @DJECTIVE$ NO NO @DJECTIVE$ JUST YOUR WRE$TLING RIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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