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Song Parodies -> "I Wish I Was Celine Dion"

Original Song Title:

"My Heart Will Go On"

Original Performer:

Celine Dion

Parody Song Title:

"I Wish I Was Celine Dion"

Parody Written by:

Spaff.com

The Lyrics

[Haunting instrumental intro: Penny whistle or kazoo]

Every night in my dreams
I hang out
With drag queens
Dressing up like Celine
Dion

Every day I wake up
And cake on
The makeup
Make my chin like Celine
Dion

You'll
See
The Vegas in me
When they build me that coli-se-ummm

White
Trash
Will blow all their cash
Sorry, Siegfried and Roy, but
My show will go on and on

I'll find old men wiser
And sell out
To Chrysler
Stealing Cyndi Lauper's
Last song

Royalties from "One Heart"
And perfume
At Wal-Mart
Bling the bling like Celine
Dion

TIGHT
FRENCH
CANADIAN WENCH
I'M A DIVA LIKE WAYNSIE
NEW-TON

RICH
PROUD
TITANICALLY LOUD
I WILL SINK YOU WITH SCHLOCK, I
WISH I WAS - CE-LINE DI-OOOOOOO-
*gasp*
-OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNN!!!

Mmm-hmm...
Copyright 2003+ Spaff.com
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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.7
How Funny: 4.8
Overall Rating: 4.8
Total Votes: 22

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
  1
  1
  
 2   0
  0
  0
  
 3   0
  0
  0
  
 4   3
  1
  0
  
 5   18
  20
  21
  

User Comments

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Jeff Reuben - October 30, 2003 - Report this comment
I was just in Vegas...shame I missed the show.
Adagio - October 30, 2003 - Report this comment
Clever the way you worked Titaic in there...lol. Super!!! 5's
Smurf and Mr. Horse - October 30, 2003 - Report this comment
Titanic Job:-) 5's
lebeiw15 - October 30, 2003 - Report this comment
All 5s... BRILLIANT!
Rick D - October 30, 2003 - Report this comment
You have to hit your chest with your fist for emphasis. Oh, we can't see that, can we?
who cares what my name is - October 30, 2003 - Report this comment
now this is what i call funny
WIld & Diva - October 30, 2003 - Report this comment
Celine is a great entertainer, but there is something about her that begs for a parody like this! Nice job Spaff!
Claude Prez - October 31, 2003 - Report this comment
Only seven votes? See, that's what you get for picking such an obscure song...Anyway, TITANICALLY FUNNY
Michael Pacholek - October 31, 2003 - Report this comment
One question, Spaff: Since she sleeps with Rene Angelil, do you (or your character) STILL wish you were Celine Dion? I mean, have you SEEN this guy?
Spaff.com - November 04, 2003 - Report this comment
Jeff: Glad you made it out alive.
Adagio & Smurf & Horse & leebster & Rick & who & Wild & Diva & C4P: Merci.
Michaelopedia: Rene, Celine's lover, is a GUY?! Man, you sure know how to kill fantasies.
Jeff Reuben - November 05, 2003 - Report this comment
Spaff...it was either Celine or Monticore =)
Spaff.com - November 06, 2003 - Report this comment
Jeff: The lesser of two evils? I was going to write a parody of "Eye of the Tiger" called "I Love the Tiger," but I just couldn't bring myself to do it.
Courtney - May 29, 2004 - Report this comment
I love it!! I'm fan of Celine Dion, but this is such a great parody!! It fits oh so well!!
Spaff.com - June 07, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanx, Courtney. It was either going to be this or "My Part Will Go Blonde."
celinehaters.tripod.com/ - December 31, 2004 - Report this comment
perfect song since she DIDN'T SHOW at LAS VEGAS!!!
Spaff.com - February 03, 2005 - Report this comment
She didn't? Bloody Canadians.
daud - November 29, 2006 - Report this comment
oh my gosh so funny for that idiot celine dion trash shit head
Spaff.com - December 12, 2006 - Report this comment
daud: Couldn't have punctuated it better myself.
yun - April 17, 2007 - Report this comment
i like your moveis
Spaff.com - August 18, 2007 - Report this comment
yun: Thank you. I just wrapped production on "Titanic II: Night of the Living Leonardos."
Wicked Green Queen - September 28, 2007 - Report this comment
Loved it with all 5's. Wickedly hilarious. =)
Spaff.com - October 08, 2007 - Report this comment
Thanx, Wicked Green Queen. A word of advice: beware of little girls in gingham dresses.
Wendy Christopher - December 03, 2007 - Report this comment
Yaay! Now all me need to do is MAKE HER SING IT! in VEGAS!! 555
Spaff.com - December 09, 2007 - Report this comment
Thanx, Wendy. That would be surreal: Celine Dion singing "I Wish I Was Celine Dion." I'd pay the $200 (or whatever it is) to go to her coliseum (or whatever it is) and see that.
Matt - July 26, 2010 - Report this comment
heyy, me and my friend used this in our talent show, and it was filmed, soo check it out :) http://video.ak.facebook.com/cfs-ak-ash2/42133/274/146892185321278_8353.mp4
Spaff.com - March 28, 2011 - Report this comment
Thanx, Matt. I don't know if you're still paying attention, but that link didn't work for me. I'd like to see it. Is it by chance on YouTube?
Claude Prez - April 06, 2011 - Report this comment
Hey Spaff, I don't know if you're still paying attention, but I do remember using that link not THAT long ago. In case you never see it, I shall use my immense brain cells to recall and recount the performance: They were, like, British (or maybe Australian) teenagers, it was an uptempo version with just a guitar (or maybe ukelele), and everyone seemed to like it quite a bit, especially the TIGHT....FRENCH......CANADIAN WENCH line, which was always my fave, too. (Or maybe I didn't see it; I'm old, and can't remember stuff).
Spaff.com - December 22, 2011 - Report this comment
As Chevy Chase's mother says to him in "Christmas Vacation":

Claude, baby, I can picture it in my mind and it's breathtaking.
Spaff.com - December 22, 2011 - Report this comment
OK, I just looked that up on IMDB. It's not Clark's mom who says that, it's his mother-in-law, played by Doris Roberts.

And I just now realized that the kid who plays Rusty is Johnny Galecki, who grew up to become Leonard on "The Big Bang Theory."

I love me some Internet.

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