Song Parodies -> "The Great Hardrada (King Harald III of Norway)"

Original Song Title:

"The Great Pretender"

^(MP3)

Original Performer:

"The Great Hardrada (King Harald III of Norway)"

Parody Written by:

The Lyrics

Duke William II of Normandy (William the Conqueror) defeated King Harold II of England at the Battle of Hastings in 1066 but, three weeks before, Harold fought a 15,000 strong army led by King Harald “Hardrada” of Norway.

(As sung by King Harold II of England in September 1066)

Oh heck…he’s the great Hardrada
Invadin’ is what he does well
My realm is rich
I’ll defend my pitch
This Viking butthole I’ll expel

Oh drat…by his side is Tostig
Not fit to be earl, he has shown
Was stripped of land
Booted out, an’ banned
Not part of the team; I disown

Too cruel was his rule; he was made to leave
Not cool; was a tool; played his part like some fool

(Oh) Life…sure ain’t great for Tostig
He’s fightin’ today like a clown
He’s scared, you see
For he’ll not beat me
He’s poopin’ his pants; they’re now brown
He’ll soon be six foot underground

No laud for his lord, so there’s no reprieve
He’s floored by a sword, as are most of the horde

(Oh) Damn…while up here in Stamford
That Norman has come for my crown
I’ll kick his butt
Call his wife a slut
I’ll tell him, “You fight like a clown”
Then put him six foot in the ground
(In the ground)

In 1065 Harold was Earl of Wessex, serving under King Edward the Confessor. Harold’s younger brother, Tostig, was Earl of Northumbria. Tostig was very unpopular with the people he governed and, in November 1065, was exiled from England by King Edward. In January 1066 Edward died, and Harold became the new king. Tostig persuaded King Harald III of Norway to invade England and overthrow his brother. They arrived in Yorkshire in September and, when the news reached him, Harold marched his army over 200 miles north to confront them. Harold defeated them at the Battle of Stamford Bridge, on the 25th of September, where Tostig and Hardrada were both killed. Harold then received the news that Duke William of Normandy had landed on the south coast with an army of over 20,000. He marched his men 280 miles south and immediately fought the Battle of Hastings on the 14th of October. No wonder they lost that one!

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Patrick - July 28, 2011 - Report this comment

Great song and a lesson in history. The footnotes helped a lot. Never knew this background to the Battle of Hastings. By some fluke I was looking up names of Danish kings yesterday and came upon one "Eric the Memorable". Unfortunately that odd name was all anyone could remember about him.

Old Man Ribber - July 28, 2011 - Report this comment

Andy - (To the tune if Twilight Time by The Platters) Boatloads of Norman hoardes are landing...it's Conquest Time! (Fine historical parody here) ;D

Andy Primus - July 28, 2011 - Report this comment

Thanks Patrick (LOL @ your Eric gag) & OMR (back in those days, it was *always* conquest time for someone or other).

Patrick – Glad to see that I’m not the only one with an interest in obscure Euro history. I suppose you spotted that, in the 11th century, England was ruled by several Danes as part of their empire. Sven (Sweyn) Forkbeard ruled from December 1013 until his death 5 weeks later. He was followed by his son, Canute (Cnut) the Great, then Cnut’s sons, Harold Harefoot & Harthacnut. It took until 1042 for England to be ruled by the English again (with Edward the Confessor).

To anyone in the future who likes historical parodies put to this song:

http://www.amiright.com/parody/misc/theplatters52.shtml (King Edmund II of England – 11th C.)

http://www.amiright.com/parody/misc/theplatters48.shtml (Bonnie Prince Charlie – 18th C.)

John Barry - July 28, 2011 - Report this comment

They got ass kicked in 1066 (any takers?) Thanks for the history lesson. Great write as well.

Bonnie Vill - July 28, 2011 - Report this comment

Exiling unpopular leaders - now, "there's" a tradition the rebellious colonists should have kept. There are almost 555 that I'd like to exile right now.... wish history had been this much fun in school.

Whence cometh the parody of "Duke of Earl?

US-UK Translator - July 29, 2011 - Report this comment

John Barry was suggesting a parody of "(Get Your Kicks On) Route 66", recorded in 1946 by Nat King Cole, covered by many artists including Chuck Berry, The Rolling Stones, etc. The song's lyrics follow the path of the U.S. Route 66 highway, a thoroughfare from Chicago, Illinois, to Los Angeles, California. Since obsoleted by the Interstate Highway System, but parts have become National Landmarks.

pickle - July 29, 2011 - Report this comment

This is a Horrible Histories sketch waiting to be made, but surely it MUST be in the style of Freddie Mercury's promo for his version!

Michael Pacholek - August 01, 2011 - Report this comment

Having written a "get your kicks in 1066" parody myself, I can say you did a better job of, uh, keeping your eye on things than Harold Godwinson did. There was also one of the few "Edmund Fitzgerald" parodies I didn't do, titled "The Not-So-Majestic" King Harold."

Andy P - August 14, 2011 - Report this comment

Late thanks to:
JAB - I would have done that one, but MP has beaten me to it
BV - good idea - might check it out
Translator - never heard the NKC one, but I've got it by several others (my faves being Dr Feelgood & Them)
Pickle - that would be a funny one
MP - I'm just about to check out your 66

Meriadoc - August 04, 2012 - Report this comment

I always felt kinda sorry for poor Tostig, even though I do hold him personally responsible for the Saxons losing England.

Have you read Anand's "Gildenford" series? Absolutely the best historical novels ever written (IMHO) and they cover this period as well as the Danish kings of the Isle.

Andy Primus - August 08, 2012 - Report this comment

Thanks Meriadoc. I hold him personally responsible as well – I think that he got exactly what he deserved.

I haven’t read any Anand because I only read factual books. The only novels that I’ve read in the past 20 years are the whole set of early Tom Sharpe ones.

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